One morning, your dog/cat suddenly starts speaking perfect English. It has been secretly watching you for years. What embarrassing things does it reveal about you?
Michael: Ruth. Ruth, your cat just said my name.
Ruth: He does that sometimes when he wants food.
Michael: No, he said, and I quote, “Michael eats my food when Ruth isn't home.”
Ruth: ...Milo, we talked about this.
Michael: WAIT. He's actually talking?!
Ruth: Since about seven this morning. I've been trying to process it quietly.
Michael: “Quietly”? Ruth, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened in this apartment.
Ruth: He's also apparently been judging my music taste for two years.
Michael: As he should. Milo, what else has she been hiding from me?
Ruth: Don't encourage him.
Michael: I'm absolutely encouraging him. Go on, buddy.
Ruth: Milo, if you say one word about the thing with the vacuum cleaner, I swear—
Michael: THE THING WITH THE VACUUM CLEANER?
Ruth: It's midnight tomorrow. He stops talking at midnight. I just need to survive until then.
Michael: I'm getting popcorn. This is the best day of my life.
| Useful Phrase | 中文筆記 |
|---|---|
| I quote | （引用原話） |
| process (something) quietly | 靜靜消化（這件事） |
| as he should | 這是應該的 |
| don't encourage him | 別鼓勵他 |
| swear | 發誓 |
If your pet (or a friend's pet) could talk for one day, what's one secret you're worried it would reveal?
如果你的寵物能說話一天，你最擔心牠會說出什麼秘密？