My dad. Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this.

Um- He-He still does this thing. It's been [?] years now.

And he still does this thing where he announces himself...

before walking into any room we're in...

just to make [?] he doesn't have to ever see us kiss.

Wish my mother had that system.

Remember? Not now.

I still can't believe you did this to me.

Would you get in the spirit of [?]? It's a celebration.

[Doorbell Rings]

- Oh, God. - Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready.

Okay. And I want you to just come straight out with it.

All right. Okay. You can do this.

Yeah. Sports guy [?] bump.

No. Sports guy chest bump.

Cam. Oh! All right. Go. Do it. Go.

Sorry. Oh.

[Exhales]

Hey. Hi. Hey.

How are you? Hi, guys. Hey.

That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks.

Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is [?] right behind.

[Doorbell Ringing] [Knocking]

[Jay] Knock, knock! We're here. Coming in!

Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here.

May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled [?]?

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Jay.

Gloria, hi. Hi.

How are you? Hi, Dad. Hi, Gloria. How are you?

Oh, what a beautiful dress. Ay, thank you, Phil.

Okay. Oh, hey- Phil.

That's how she says "Phil." Not "feel." Phil. Oh.

- So how was your trip? - It was good. It was good actually.

But, um, about that, I- I have [?] that I need to tell you guys.

Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure.

We, uh, kind of have some big news.

Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving.

- [Claire] Dad. - I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom.

Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today...

and Phil shot him.

Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago,

Cam and I started [?] this longing, you know,

for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?

- Ooh, that's a bad idea. - What do you mean, "bad idea"?

Well, kids need a mother. I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog.

Okay, we're not bored, Dad.

I [?] you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son.

I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say...

is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight.

- Kids bring chaos, and- and you don't handle it well. - That's not what Dad's saying.

That's what you're saying. And it's insulting in a whole different way.

Okay, people. Let's all "chillax."

Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? Thank you. Thank you.

Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not [?].

Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh? You two broke up.

Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway.

And let me tell you. You're better off, because he was a bit of a [?] queen.

No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No.

You come into my [?] and you insult me and my boyfriend,

who, by the way, is not that dramatic-

♪♪ [Stereo: Man Singing In Zulu] Oh, God.

♪♪ [Chorus Singing In Zulu]

[Man] ♪ It's the circle of life ♪

We adopted a baby. ♪ And it moves us all ♪

Her name is Lily. Oh.

Exciting! Just turn it off.

I can't turn it off. It's who I am.

The music. Oh, yes, the [?]. [Chuckles]

♪♪ [Stops] Come say hi to Lily.

Ay, miren a la princesita. The little princess. [Haley] She's so cute!

So cute. Thank you.

[Claire] Let me see her. Let me see her. Let me see her.

Hi there, Lily.

"Lily." Isn't that gonna be [?] for her to say? [Haley] So cute.

Phil. Excuse me.

Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.

But, uh, what do I know?

I mean, it's not like I [?] the book on fatherhood.

Been trying all my life to get it right. I'm still screwing up.

- Right, Manny? - I wrote a song about it in the car.

Of course you did. Uh-

Anyway, I'm happy for you. And, uh, you should know that, uh,

I'm not here to spit in your face,

I'm here to... blow at your back.

I don't understand what that means. I don't-

Well, it's- it's supposed to [?] better in Spanish.

Voy a ser la brisa en tu espalda, no quien te escupa en la frente.

Oh, that's beautiful. That's really nice.

And thank you too.

Anyhow, Mitch, uh-

- No, Dad, it's- it's- - [Lily Crying]

I got her. I got her. Oh, she's crying.

She wants her grandpa! She wants her [?]!

Do you wanna meet Grandpa? What? Are you kidding?

She's one of us now. Let me see the little pot sticker. [Chuckling]

Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you?

Ah. Look at this. [All Fussing]

[Jay] We're from different worlds, yet we somehow fit together.

Love is what binds us,

through fair or stormy weather.

I stand before you now with only one agenda-

"To let you know my heart is yours,

Feldman comma Brenda."

I mean, seriously.

Luke, so far, hasn't beaten me in [?].

It's 2-0. 2-0. Okay. Okay.

[Grunting]

Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen! Dad, stop it!

Can you do me a favor? Just grab-

Ooh! How's the weather down there?

But when the day comes that he does win-

if- you know- if/when-

he beats me, I'm just gonna be like,

"Well done. Well done."

Just, like, let him- Just [?] him...

in- in- in that kind of stuff.

I mean, I'd probably want to go, like, two out of three and just see what happens there, but-