Brenda Feldman.

What is that? A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman.

- Of course it is. - I put my thoughts into words and now my [?] into action.

Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this.

I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money?

What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old?

He's like a bullfighter. Mmm. You ever [?] a bullfight?

- I can't watch this. - You're in such a bad mood.

And I know why. It's because that man thought you were my father.

No. Yes.

No. When you say "No" like that, it's always "Yes."

Come on. We're in the mall. Let's get you, like, some younger clothes.

There's a store there. I don't need any [?] clothes.

And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.

Good. You shouldn't.

You should only care what I think.

I love you, and I don't care how old you are.

So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny.

The only [?] I'm hard on Manny...

is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself.

And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.

Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there.

But you're his family now, and that means only one thing-

You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face.

What? It's [?] my mom always says.

It's gorgeous in Spanish. Look, he's there.

She has a boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry, mi niño.

I gave her my heart,

she gave me a [?] of me as an old-time sheriff.

Oh.

That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? No, mi amor.

It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave.

W-Well, you'll know better next time.

Come on. Let's get a pretzel.

Mentira. A mí sí me gusta.

Uh, excuse me, sir. We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.

[Haley] Alex, get out! Mom!

Alex, leave your [?] alone.

I was just getting my book. Gosh.

I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy.

What are they doing up there? Nothing.

Lying on her bed, watching a [?].

Okay. Okay.

Um, I'm making a cake for tonight. You wanna help me with the frosting?

Sure.

So, you know, if Haley got pregnant,

would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months,

and then, like, [?] everyone the baby's yours?

What? This senior at school was "out sick" for four months,

but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding at a coin-op car wash.

[Sighs]

Buddy, what are you wearing?

- Nothing. - Uh-uh. No jacket.

One hat. How many pairs of [?] do you have on?

One. [Sighs] Six.

First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat.

And how awesome would it be to have a [?] little brother who's really my nephew.

Haley is not getting pregnant. [Clears Throat]

Just saying "if." I know.

And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it's not gonna work this time.

You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl.

I know. I was just like her when I was-

I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this.

But this is an [?] lesson that you're learning.

So, soak it. Keep it.

[Clearing Throat]

You're too close. It's gonna hurt.

It's supposed to hurt.

- And why are you smiling? - I'm- What?

Oh, forget it. I can't do this.

The point is you're scared. I [?] you've learned your lesson.

[Shoots] Wow.

Ow!

Mom! What are you doing?

Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry.

- Is this a bad time? - Yeah.

Oh. Okay.

Uh, can you [?] the door, please?

Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open.

Why?

Because I have, uh, seen this little show before-

lying on the bed with a tall senior.

One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest,

and the next you're lying underneath the [?] hockey table with your bra in your pocket.

Whoa. Mom!

- [Whimpering] You hit my bone! - It was an accident!

- I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend.

Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom.

She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!

Honey, your mom isn't always as [?] about things as-

- [Shoots] - Ow!

What is with this thing?

[Shoots] Ow!